Despite what I said over the holiday, there will be no “Reading Shelf” update this week. I’m not sure when I will be able to take up the series again because I haven’t been doing much reading for fun lately. I want to, but it hasn’t been working out so well.
As a regular reader, I’m familiar with the experience of falling into a reading funk. I read too many books too quickly, or I read too many books of the same type, or a book I was looking forward to isn’t for me after all, or I just get too tired or too stressed. And then it hits. Nothing appeals. I read a chapter or two from this book or that book, but never feel compelled to read onward, no matter what. Sometimes I stop even trying to read. Eventually whatever in my brain that’s causing the funk goes away, or a book comes along that shakes me out of it — usually one from a different genre or a new author.
The psychological aspects of this reading funk are a little bit different. It started fairly typically near the beginning of last month, with the disappointment of a book that was not as much my thing as I’d hoped. (I won’t say which one, as the flaw lies in me and not the book). Then I stopped reading for fun because I was so wrapped up in my research. Anything else seemed like a distraction and I felt too guilty to read fiction.
Now I’d actually like to take a break and read something for fun. My head is swimming with the facts that I’m ever-so-slowly culling from the material I’m reading for my project and I’d like to take some time off. But I can’t.
There’s a book that came out yesterday that I’ve been looking forward to (Lilith Saintcrow’s THE HEDGEWITCH QUEEN) and I’m holding back, resisting the urge to read it. I’ve got previews on my phone for two other books that sound really good (ALLOY OF LAW and THE HUM AND THE SHIVER) and I can’t even bring myself to open the files. At first I was confounded, unsure what my problem was, and then it hit me.
Usually, when I’m in a reading funk, I’m afraid to read a book and find it’s not for me. This time, however, I’m afraid that I’ll read a book and fall in love with it. Sometimes reading a truly excellent book can be inspiring, but often a good book makes me feel despondent, uncertain that I could every write anything as good. (It’s a ridiculous reaction, I know, but it’s the one I have.) I’ve got such a good flow going with my research, that I’m afraid of interrupting it with a new wave of self-doubt.
So I keep putting aside the books I pick out to read for fun and focusing on the reading for my project. Nonfiction doesn’t quite fill the longing to read something new, but it allows me to keep forging ahead. I don’t want another set-back. At some point, this funk will pass. When it does, the novels will still be waiting.
(image adapted from an original by deflam/David Flam)
I generally don't read as much when I'm drafting and I can relate to being in research mode. It has always been interesting to me the ebb and flow of my reading habits. Kudos for not pressuring yourself.
I was in a reading funk for YEARS. It's not a good feeling. I think I finally got through it when I realized that it wasn't me, I'd just had really really bad luck with books. And this was at a time where I picked up books by strolling through bookstore aisles, which I'm fast learning does not work for me. I've had much more success going off online reviews and recommendations and then ordering the book(s) online.
Anyway, don't stress the reading funk! You'll come back to it when you're good and ready, methinks.
Thanks, Raelyn and Annalise! I'm not too worried about the funk, as it happens to me quite frequently. I was just surprised by the way it happened this time — I've never been funked by working on a project before. New things all the time!